AUG 29, 2016

Quote of Week

“If I agreed with you, then we’d both be wrong.”

GOOD PLACES TO EAT!

It’s been sometime since I’ve posted a “good places to eat” piece, and that’s because I haven’t found anything worth reporting. That changed last Saturday when we made a spur of the moment stop at Fatman’s BBQ near the Farmer’s Market in Montgomery.

As y’all know, I judge all BBQ by Memphis standards, and rarely do I find anything that compares. The Cozy Corner still serves the best ribs I’ve ever eaten, and Morris’s Grocery in Eads leads the field on shoulder. Fatman’s is a close second to both of these. There are two factors that determine the quality of BBQ: meat quality and cooking procedure. Fatman’s has both.

Ben Allen, owner of Fatman’s buys the best pork available, and slow smokes it a minimum of twelve hours. The slow smoking results in tender, moist ribs and succulent shoulder. Both are served as cooked, with sauce on the side rather than covering the true taste of the meat. Allen has finally settled into his new location at 1660 Federal Drive after operating from a mobile kitchen for over a year.

This is the best BBQ I’ve found outside of Memphis, and I highly recommend it anytime you’re looking for a good meal in Montgomery.

ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO MISSISSIPPI!

(This has been making the rounds on Face Book and I think it’s priceless)

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
   2. Just because you can drive on snow… and ice does not mean we can. Just stay home the two days of the year it snows.
   3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
   4. Don’t be surprised to find movie rentals & bait in the same store.
   5. Remember: “Y’all” is singular. “All y’all” is plural. “All y’all’s” is plural possessive.
   6. Get used to hearing “You ain’t from around here, are you?”
   7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.
   8. If you hear a redneck say, “Hey, y’all, watch this!” Stay out of his way, these are likely his last words ever.
   9. Get used to the phrase “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.” And the collateral phrase “You call this hot? Wait’ll August.”
   10. There are no delis. Don’t ask.
   11. In conversation, never put your hand on a man’s shoulder when making a point, especially in a bar.
   12. Chili does NOT have beans in it.
   13. Brisket is not ‘cooked’ in an oven.
   14. Don’t tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
   15. If you think it’s too hot, don’t worry. It’ll cool down-in December.
   16. We do TOO have 4 Seasons: Football, Basketball, Deer and Duck.
   17. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is.
   18. If someone tells you “Don’t worry, those peppers aren’t hot” you can be certain they are.
   19. If you fail to heed my warning in #18 above, be sure to have a bowl of guacamole handy. Water won’t do it.
   20. Rocky Mountain oysters are NOT oysters. Don’t ask.
   21. If someone says they’re “fixin” to do something, that doesn’t mean anything’s broken.
   22. Don’t even think of ordering a strawberry daiquiri. What you really mean to say is ‘Margarita.’
   23. If you don’t understand our passion for college and high school football just keep your mouth shut.
   24. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
   25. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called “courtesy”.
   26. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.
   27. No matter what you’ve seen on TV, line dancing is not a popular weekend pastime.
   28. “Tea” = Sweet Iced Tea. There is no other kind.
   29. Everything is better with Ranch dressing.
2. A bullet is the little lead thing that sits atop a cartridge.
3. When we hunt birds, we mean bob white quail.
4. Our three major food groups are grease, salt and biscuits
5. Everything can be fried.
6. Fice dogs were bred for rabbits and squirrels.
7. Yankees are a lot like hemorrhoids, once they come down they never go back up.

SPORTS QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game. “

Paul “Bear” Bryant

IT’S FOOTBALL TIME DOWN SOUTH

  The 2016 season gets underway Thursday Sept 1. The outcome of every game can have an effect on the rankings, but there are six games that could be critical. Let’s take a look at them in descending order of their potential impact on the top ten.

In my opinion, the headliner will be Ole Miss v Florida State in Orlando. FSU will be playing close to home, and as a result, will be a slight favorite, but you can expect a high scoring game, with the winner likely to be decided on the last possession of the game. The teams look well matched, and share a mutual approach to recruiting and team discipline.

Number one, Alabama travels to Arlington Texas to take on the 20^th ranked Trojan’s of The University of Southern California. This will be a battle of epic proportions, pitting two of college football’s storied programs. Alabama claims 16 national titles, and USC claims 11. We can expect USC’s west coast offense to challenge the Tide’s rock solid defense. These type games are often won by special teams, and nobody beats Nick Saban in that department. (Okay, maybe he had trouble with punt returns in the past.)

In an inter-conference match-up, #3 Oklahoma will travel to #15 Houston. The winner of this game will stay alive in the national ratings, and the loser will drop into a race for a good bowl game. Both teams play in conferences with some weaker opponents, but OU has a conference schedule that includes Baylor, Texas and Oklahoma State. If the Sooners run the table, they are a real possibility to make the final four.

Number ten, Notre Dame takes on Texas for their opener. The Irish will travel to Austin to try to duplicate last year’s 38–3 romp, and they’ll need a win to keep their title hopes alive. Both schools have a rich football tradition, and both recruit at the top level. Texas thinks they may have turned the corner, and the Irish will have to play an error free game to win.

I have included the Auburn v Clemson game because of so much local interest here in Southeast Alabama. Clemson lost a close game to Alabama in last year’s National Championship game, and has ACC Player of the Year and Heisman finalist, Deshaun Watson returning from a 4,000 yard passing and 1,000 yard rushing season in 2015. Clemson looks like a lop-sided favorite, but Auburn has solid players at every position, and a talented new guy at QB. Gus really needs to start the season with a big upset, and beating Clemson would certainly be big.